Love

Any one who knows me, knows I was never a big fan of kids.  When asked if I would have them, my reply was always "No" and I meant it.

"oh, you'll love your own kids."

"Really?  How can you be so sure.  Have you met me?"

Then came our big news that mother nature had slapped me upside the head (uterus).  I still worried (quietly, in my own head) during those 9 (6) months.  Would I love this baby when he arrived?  But i trusted in the Mother and oxytocin.

And then Calvin arrived...

I certainly loved him, but it was surreal.  I had to wonder (again, quietly in my own head) if I really loved him or was going through the motions because that was what I was suppose to do.  There is a lot going on in those first few days and weeks.  I felt a little numb and a lot overwhelmed.  At 4 days old we had to re-admit him to the hospital, just for 24 hours, and the stress and concern and yes love too, I felt confirmed that I wasn't just playing along. I definitely loved my perfect baby boy.  It just didn't hit me over the head like I thought it would.

I thought that once a new baby arrived I would be flooded with feelings of love for him.  Blinded to all else but this precious creature that we created.  Maybe it is that way for some parents.  For me, it was a slow burn.  In those first weeks and months, I loved Calvin and I loved my husband and I loved my cats, etc.  They were all more or less on equal footing.  And then one day, I'm not sure when, I was so in love with him, that I could no longer contain it.  The emotion had to come spilling out of my mouth... frequently.  I can't stop marveling that we provided the instructions and I provided the materials and here is this amazing kid.  This amazing kid that I love.  It's crazy.

Luckily the person who is around for this verbal volcano is also completely head-over-heels in love with him and doesn't mind having a detailed conversation about said love, even though it has nothing to do with what was being discussed the moment before.  I would really bore anyone else.  It is a completely unique type of emotion.  Sure, I love other people, Chris for example.  I would be sad beyond words if Chris were hit by a bus tomorrow*.  But I'd step in front of the bus for Calvin.  Chris feels the same way so he isn't offended.

So here I am posing for a picture with messed up hair. I haven't had make-up on for days and I don't even care, because I've got Calvin (and Chris) and that's all that matters.

*This statement is in no way to be interpreted as a challenge to fate or busses.

Look what I can do!

He's so proud!

While I was busy in the kitchen and Chris was busy fixing a warped floor board (see background) Calvin figured out how to sit up on his own!  It was totally an accident and he has yet to put himself in a sitting position again, but he will sit for a while if put in that position.  He used to just topple over if not properly balanced on something.

getting ready to take off

Another favorite floor exercise is to get up on all fours and rock back and forth.  Gentleman, start your engines!  Crawling is right around the corner.  Oh, boy...

Happy Father's Day!

BIG C,

little c,

What begins with c?

Chris carrying Calvin.

                 C, c, C...

Happy Father's Day to the best daddy partner a mom could ask for.

Parenting 101

Last night I Sharpied my son's butt.

We noticed a strange mark on his hip after bath time.  It looked like a reaction to a bite, but there were no bite marks.  It seemed like the best way to make sure it wasn't getting bigger.

Then I realized that I would have to explain the Sharpie to the daycare teacher today.   Why didn't I make 4 small marks.  Why did I decide to put a dotted line around the whole thing?  I blame my poor problem solving skills on lack of sleep.

Luckily the ink was gone this morning.  Parenting crisis averted.

PS - the mysterious welt was gone too.

6 Months Old!

forceful banana pose will not propel you forward.

Stats (still 90%):
Weight: 19.6 lbs
Height: 27.5 in
Head Circumference: 44.5 cm

Eyes: Brown

Teeth: None

Hair: some

Calvin is now 6 months old which means he has started to amass the skills to do some really fun stuff.  

Sit in his highchair to eat...

 Ride a bike with daddy...

 Play with cars...

and go swimming...

I was told there would be a swim-up bar

Food Update:

Since he only eats solid once a day and his food requires no seasoning of any kind, I've made everything he has eaten, except for the rice cereal.  

I tried finely grinding some brown rice and mixing it with boiling water, but it was still hard.  The video I watched didn't include cooking, but I think it will still require about 10-15 minutes of cooking to become soft enough.  I may revisit this after we finish the box of cereal that I bought.   

So far he's had butternut squash, sweet potatoes and peaches (I started with a freebie sample I was given, but have since boiled and pureed some fresh Texas peaches since they are in season).  The peaches were by far his favorite - big surprise - but he likes the sweet potatoes too.  He ate the butternut squash, but probably because he didn't know any better.  I liked it, but I also put butter and brown sugar on it.  I've also prepared some zucchini and have bananas ready to mush, but since we have to wait 3 days between each new food we haven't gotten there yet.  

Feeding him is a lot of fun.  He gets really excited.  I love being part of something he enjoys so much.

Health Update:

Calvin is still sick.  6 weeks and counting.  We just keep moving from one virus to another.  He had a sinus infection and after 10 days of yummy bubblegum flavored antibiotics, the secretions from his nose have changed color, but are still there.  Along with a very scary cough that is keeping him from sleeping.  

It's tempting to take him to the doctor again, but after a weekly trip for the past month I know that there is nothing they will do.  He's tested negative for whooping cough, so as long as he is breathing there is nothing we can do except keep the humidifier plugged in... and make sure his lips aren't blue.

Through all this he is still a very happy little guy and between catching up on his beauty sleep today he managed to play, jump, giggle and swim.  I'm glad that he basically feels fine, if annoyed about his cough.  

I'm sure that once all this goes away a tooth will finally decide to appear.  He's only been teething for 3 months.  So don't worry.   I don't plan on sleeping anytime in the next few months or 6.  In fact it is 9pm now.  Calvin's been in bed for 2 hours.  I'm not sure what I am still doing awake.  Good night.